Recovery Worksheets getting a facelift

Posted on May 16, 2012 by Michael

As most of you know, I enjoy creating recovery worksheets for individuals who have disabilities, yet the more that I realize that this name ‘recovery’ is a bit institutionalized. Just think of AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, and your walking into a room of peers and then you are asked the question ‘what have you been doing of late?’. Telling the group that you are going over a recovery worksheet on such and such just might label you as a former drinker.

In addition to this, these ‘yet-to-be-renamed’ worksheets are really not solely for people with disabilities. Each one teaches a particular skill that we all need.

So, here are some of the new names that I have thought about: (Please let me know what you think. Thanks)

Life transformation (worksheets)
Life Skills (worksheets)
Improving Your Stand (worksheets)

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Ten Simple Vacation Ideas

Posted on May 14, 2012 by Michael

Currently, I am on vacation.  Yes, it is the traditional NO NEED TO GO TO THE OFFICE DAY.  For some folks, this means taking a trip overseas; others, it will be day trips; and stil others, it will be doing nothing around the house, just having a free flowing schedule.

It has been my experience that too many people with disabilities are left out of even considering taking a vacation.  Perhaps you could assist them

And regardless of what we do, please don’t forget that the definition of vacation is to refuel our bodies and our minds and our spirits.   (Have you ever been on a vacation where you needed to go on a vacation because of the vacation!  I have, and that is no fun.)  So here are some low cost and no cost ways that you can enjoy yourself, or even help another person along to take a vacation.

1.  read a book.  Set aside time to plow into an enjoyable novel, perhaps even reading it to an elderly resident in a nursing home.

2.  Trip down memory lane.  Think about the best trips you have taken, recalling the fond memories, or helping someone to recall.

3.  Brainstorm a game that can be played.  When doing this with others, help him to engage in the game

4.  Listen to your favorite music.

5.  Watch a television program.

6.  Take a short walk

7.  Sing/hum a song

8.  Visit a friend

9.  Call for take out.

10.  Sleep in.

The point is to unwind, stretch out, relax.  And in the process, you can help others to the same.

 

If you have more, let me know, and I can add them to the list.

 

Blessings,

 

Michael

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3 Steps to Living Successfully

Posted on May 9, 2012 by Michael

Here is my webinar.  Let me know what you think about it.

3 Steps to Living Successfully

Downloadable files for this Webinar:

And if you like what you are seeing, subscribe to the blog.  It is easy, and always informative.

Blessings

Michael

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Respite definition for the Christian Caregiver

Posted on May 9, 2012 by Michael

 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew. 11:28-30

The Christian caregiver knows the importance and the empowerment that comes from respite when he communes with God. in prayer, meditation, journaling, Bible reading or some other form of devotional activity.

Holy Bible with a Cross. the Respite definition for the Christian

This respite definition does help the physical body to relax, and the emotions to be soothed, there is a deeper component that brings even a more authentic rest and that comprises the spiritual dimension because the Christian caregiver knows that his work of helping others is more than a paycheck; rather, he sees it as a Godly calling upon his life to care to others for His Name’s sake.

Jesus, the ultimate Caregiver, announces clearly that the struggles one faces in daily life will be exchanged for His rest to the soul, a rest given even in the midst of an environment of strife, His rest that goes into the very core of man.

Any person, let alone the Christian, knows how those deep questions of ‘why am I here?’ or ‘is there more to life?’ or ‘why me?’ continually gnaw at one’s life.  Such questions are a gracious reminder of God’s wooing man to fellowship with Him.  St. Augustine has framed it with these now familiar words: “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you” (Confessions. Book 1, Chapter 1).

This aspect of resting in Him is a continual awareness that to the Caregiver needs to yoke himself with Christ as he goes about his work.

This type of identification will strengthen, motivate, inspire, and make  effective his caregiving as the Christian experiences the relative ease –the ‘lightness of the burden’- of his work.

 

Blessings

 

Michael

 

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Equal Access to Pools

Posted on May 7, 2012 by Michael

Nothing is unchangeable but the inherent and unalienable rights of man.
Thomas Jefferson

Equal access to hotel pools sounds reasonable.  In fact, it IS reasonable, and it is happening.  Yet, evidently it is not happening fast enough for some.steps going into swimming pool

Some are pressing the hotel owners to comply by the law that states their pools to be accessible to people with disabilities by May 21, while some hotel owners are asking for extensions.

In my opinion, both parties have legitimate reasons for pushing their causes, yet as we know from history, standing upon the precepts of the law will not foster any sense of belonging.  Rather,  resentment will brood if the law is the only playing field on which opposing parties gather.

Though I am not against laws, they do not readily garner respect from the opposition.  They can provide a place for people with differing ideas to meet in order to start building a better understanding, but there must be more than just laws to bring about a sense of oneness between the disabled and abled-body communities.

Respect is from the heart, not from the judicial system.

From my vantage point, the importance of our laws is that they give people tools to uphold the rights of others, while giving us the opportunity to become aware of the injustices surrounding us.

Equality and Respect are not the same.  Equality can happen at the signing of a bill into law.  Respect usually takes longer.

Equality can build walls between people.  Respect will build bridges between them.

My suggestion is this:  recognize that these pools are being modified, that hotel owners ARE complying with the law, slowly perhaps, but they are complying.  Then, let the advocates meet with hotel owners to address this question:  how can we (advocates) help you comply with this new law.  Be willing to listen; be willing to work together.

Remember that the impression you leave with the opposition will have a residual effect on those that come behind you.  Will your actions and behavior build walls of resentment or bridges of healthy relationships for your very own children?

Choose wisely.

 

Blessings,

 

Michael

 

 

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Erase the Stigma of Mental Illness

Posted on May 7, 2012 by Michael

Overcoming One Person at a Time

Erase the Stigma of Mental Illness.  One more life is too high a price to pay!

Recently, I posted to my facebook page a story of a suicide.  A young man took his own life because he guitar player advocating for People with Disabilitiescould not cope with how to tell his employer that he needed to see a professional to discuss his mental illness.    Continue reading →

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Volunteering at Nursing Homes

Posted on May 2, 2012 by Michael

The feeble minded need not apply Nursing Home in New Hampshire

Those with queasy stomachs should look elsewhere to volunteer their time.

Those who are just looking for something to do, please look elsewhere.

 

The sights, the sounds, and the smells of some homes can hit even the suspecting like a freight train on steroids when you  first enter its doors.

Whoever thinks that working in or volunteering in a Nursing home is for those ‘who like to help little old ladies across the street’, or ‘who have no other talent’ need to get the smelling salts passed underneath his nose quickly.  Simply not true.

If your heart is not for the institutionalized in nursing homes, then I beg you to find where your heart is calling you, and follow it.  BUT, if your passion lies within the walls of a place where living history reigns, I will tell you that you will not find contentment anyplace else:   You were destined for such work, and not amount of pay, or lack of it should deter you.

Let me be candid with you on this:  you will have the most joy filled life you can imagine when you follow your heart here.  Conversely,  you will be miserable, regardless of the money you get, or the kudos you receive for visiting if this is not something you love

I say these things because I know.  I am a caregiver by nature.  Wait a moment, let me rephrase that.  I am a caregiver BY DESIGN.

You and I did not just wake up one day and decide that our passion for life lay in such and such an area.  We did not or will not have a surprised look upon our face when we discover our passion. ‘ REALLY?’ and “I can’t believe it’  just won’t be our response.

Rather it will be an ‘aha’ moment.  It will be like finding that one piece to your puzzle of life that you finally put into place and now the picture and your life is complete.  And you just knew it too.  You had that gut instinct.

Was this ‘by nature’.  Naw.

By design.  It all began in the heart of God  (Ephesians  2:10).  I am going to go ‘preachy’ on you for a moment, so hang on while I make my point.  OK?   Thanks.

You were created on purpose and for a purpose.  You are not here by accident nor are you here to measure up to your peers. There was and is the hand of the Creator in your very DNA for he knit you together (Psalms 139:13-16).

And not only were you created for purpose, but know this:  He loves you.  (John 3:16)

This puts a skip into my step everyday.

So, if your heart is found alive when with the institutionalized in nursing homes, follow your heart.   And as you do you will find that other lives are greately affected because of your obedience to the call that He has placed there.

You will also find that the one life that is affected the most is yours.

 

Blessings as you labor in your passion.

Michael

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Webinar: 3 Steps to Living Successfully

Posted on April 29, 2012 by Michael

For the past 21 days, I have gone back to school.  Late nights and early mornings just don’t have the same ring as they did during my college days.  The culmination of all this time and effort, though will be revealed this Monday, beginning at 8:15 PM EST via 3 webinars that can be accessed here.  And I am so looking forward to this!

Nathan Eckel, our mentor and friend, from living tree, has been guiding us and grooming us to learn how to show case our experitise by way of creating a webinar.  It was HARD work, but very satisfying BECAUSE I got to work in something that I love.   (If you are interested to learn more about how you can get the word out about something that really puts a skip in your step, contact Nathan.)

So, here is the line up for Monday.  Seating is limited, but we will be recording this for later watching, and you all will be provided with access.

Here is the lineup

Pierce Mars  3 Reasons People by from You

Michael De Rosa 3 Steps to Living Successfully

Jennifer Estanol  Respecting the Men in Our Lives- A Lost Art

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Noah Wyle arrested in D.C. protest

Posted on April 25, 2012 by Michael

Just after I wrote a post regarding my view on advocacy, I spy this on the Net:

Noah Wyle is arrested for protesting possible changes in medicaid cuts.  Again, I am all for helping the disabled, but I cringe at the methods of some people and groups.the cross on a hill with a sunset in background   I just wonder if they are gaining ground at the expense of burning the opposition.

Recently I listened to a recording of Joni Eareckson Tada talking about Paul G. Hearne, a former excutive director to the National Council of Disabilities, who was instrumental in seeing the civil rights legislation, the Americans with Disability Act, passed.

While he acknowledged the great strides that the ADA would give to people who have disabilities, he also, recognized that it would not change the heart of those people who interact with the disabled.

Heart change will not come about by better laws. Only the Good News that God gave us in Christ can do that.

 

 

Blessings,

 

Michael

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The Heart of Advocacy

Posted on April 23, 2012 by Michael

YOU GOT TO HAVE HEART

advocacy written on the hear
As I have looked over the history of disability advocacy, I find something missing.
In the midst of all the great strides it has made on behalf the those with disability laws, it seems to me that this has been at the expense of not connecting well with the opposition.
Please let me explain, and then, let me ask for your insight on this as well.
Here is one (of many) website that, I think, typifies the disability movement.
Since 1989, it has been the mission of Disability Advocates to protect and advance the rights of adults and children who have disabilities so that they can freely exercise their own life choices, enforce their rights, and fully participate in their community life. We achieve this goal through policy advocacy, litigation, coalition-building, public information and technical support for other advocates for people with disabilities in New York.
Our litigation has defeated efforts by municipalities to exclude housing for persons with disabilities, assured the accessibility of movie theaters and state operated community residences, established the right to counsel at public expense for indigent persons subject to guardianship proceedings, stopped dangerous experiments on patients in state psychiatric hospitals, and obtained compensation for victims of unnecessary and unconsented prostate surgery.

Our laws (USA) now forbid discrimination against people with disabilities when it comes to any aspect of employment.
Yet such enforcing, defeating, and law making to promote equality end up building walls of ‘us’ and ‘you’ between the very people we are telling (s) to treat the disabled equally.
My point is simply this:  how far can someone go in treating another person equally, when they are under compulsion to do so?
Changing the behavior of people is difficult, but changing their heart takes a miracle.
I am ready for a miracle.

May I propose that as we continue to support those with disabilities, we tune our hearts more to the voices of the opposition.  Yes, we are not going to agree with their thinking about disabilities, but let’s strive better to listen to their reasonings; perhaps we will find even a better way in the end to support those with disabilities.

So, here are several ways that I am going about all this.
1. Begin with the end in mind.
I want to envision ‘the finished result’.  What will is look like?  Who will be there?  What will the relationships look like
2. Gather your data
Know what you want to do.  Know who you want to speak with
3. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
This one most of us have heard, but we are a bit slow on the uptake.  Still, we need to     consider others with the deepest respect in order to be bring them to the place where     they would want to listen to us and our cause.

Yes, I do believe in miracles.  I am following my dream, by God’s grace.

Will you go with me?

Michael

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What Does Dignity Mean

Posted on April 18, 2012 by Michael

 I was all set to start writing a blog on autism because this is autism awareness month, but then I started down another road…you might just want to grab a cup of coffee and sit back for this one….

 

What ever Happened to Human Dignity

Continue reading →

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Attitude Determines Altitude

Posted on April 16, 2012 by Michael

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire

I saw the above quote as I was looking for one on attitude, and it works for me, and I hope for you. a pic of a lifeboat

It is a brutally frank quote –comparing life to a shipwreck, but I think it forces the hand of those who view life as a glass half empty, rather than half full, as those who see the clouds and not the silver lining.

Life boats are not pretty, but they get the job done, and sometimes when push comes to shove in our life, we need to just set aside those big dreams just to make it through the day. I am not talking about ‘getting rid of the dream’, but laying it temporarily aside BECAUSE you see yourself in the lifeboat and singing Staying Alive.

When you recognize this and accept it, life will be not only easier to handle, but you will have the opportunity to enjoy it more.

Some folks are just born seeing that silver lining in every cloud, others are clinging onto the edge of the lifeboat, seeing the glass half empty, feeling like Eeyore is their twin.

Well, I have some great news for you. Regardless of your outlook on life, it can be improved. Way too often it is not the problems that we struggle with, but our perception of them is what we fight against. Attitude is important.

Show me a person with a great attitude, and I will show you an individual who is feeling cool while walking on coals of fire. Show me a person who just is grumpy, and sour, and moody, and I will show you a person who will not be content if you could spit nickels out of your mouth for him because he will want quarters.

Because of this, I have created a worksheet called Attitude Determines Altitude, that you will find also at the end of this article and up above in the ‘recovery worksheets’

Attitude-determines-Altitude

Blessings on your day

Michael

 

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The Movie Courageous

Posted on April 11, 2012 by Michael

Courageous is a must see movie.  Inspirational?  YES!   Tear Jerker?   YES!(real men DO cry).  Humbling?  Absolutely.

In fact, the statistics on the turmoil that absentee fathering wreaks in a home staggers the mind, and this movie, hopefully, will pin our ears back as men to take a good long hard look at the importance of our becoming leaders in our homes.  Not slave drivers.  Not unbearable task masters.  Leaders.  You better learn the difference.  Your family already does!Father ad son

Now that I am an empty nester –my kids are out of high school and well on their own- I reflect more about those early years as a parent, and I cringe.  My parenting skills were not stellar.  Now maybe I am being a bit hard on myself -you can ask my kids for their opinions- but I made a lot of mistakes.

There are times, even, when I had the fleeting thought of:  what if I could just go back in time and do it all over again?  (Have you ever wanted to turn the hands of time back?)

But, then I realize –fortunately- that even if I could go back in time, though I might not make the same mistakes, I would find others.  Being human means being a mistake magnet!  Men, we are not perfect.  But, this should never become an excuse for sloppy parenting.

Well, this movie shows us that, though we can’t go back, we can own up to our past, while looking the future square in the eye and saying out loud ‘I can be the father, the husband that I was created to be’

Men, we really do need one another.  We need help and each one of you can help another by holding them accountable to doing right by building trusting relationship with one another so that you have earned the right to hold another man to accountability.

In a previous blog post I talked about a new venture of reaching out to Dads in order to support them as they lead their families.   I am having the privilege to be spear heading and from our first meeting, it was pretty well unanimous that the Dad’s needed this too.   There seems to be a longing among men to become better role models for teir families.

Just think about the numbers of children that will lead more productive and fruitful lives when Dad’s accept the call to lead their families

Just think of the empowerment that wives will feel from their husbands when men accept the call to lead their families.

Just think of how a society can change when men embrace the reality that their purpose in life is to lead their families well.

So, men, regardless of your situation at home:  whether you are absentee, whether you have a family member who is disabled. Regardless of your economic position in life or, your social status.  Don’t give excuses for doing what you need to do.  Your family won’t tolerate it, and the statistics will cut you like a knife.

Our families are being torn apart by many forces, and the biggest –I think- is the pervasive attitude of apathy from society!

If this movie does not move you to tears, or at least get a cringe out of you, may I suggest that you go down to your tool bench and get a hammer out and smash your finger?

Then watch the movie Courageous.  You will then feel something.

Shout out to me, men.  Let me hear from you.  Is this a need in your life?

 

Blessings on your journey

Michael

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Students with Disabilities in College

Posted on April 9, 2012 by Michael

Just read a story about another College accommodating itself towards people with disabilities.  Long time in coming, but Bravo.  Really!  But I am curious to know why it has taken some colleges so long to recognize that people with disabilities are people, who like anyone else, have needs.college library

Any thoughts on that question?

While I do applaud this college for what it is now doing, I would love to make another recommendation.  What about having classes on teaching others more about disabilities and how there are many similarities between those with and those without disabilities?

My concern is to not just practice being politically correct and frame our institutions so they legally comply.  Rather, I want to help us recognize the importance of building quality relationships between those with disabilities and those without disabilities.

Again, I really really do applaud this university for taking this step.  Remember that if your college is federally funded, then it must follow the guidelines of the American Disabilities Act of 1990.  If you are disabled, read up on your rights, and respectfully articulate your concerns with those in leadership positions.

Please let them know your thoughts on this too.

 

Thanks

 

Michael

 

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Attitude Barriers are Road Blocks

Posted on April 4, 2012 by Michael

Attitude:  “a manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind”

 The Greatest Disability of all is the Attitude Disability

If your outlook is poor, unheathly, bad, stuck, DISABLED,  the quality of your life will not be smelling like roses. It is like a road block:  while knowing our final destination, but run into barriers.Road Blocks: attitude barriers are like road blocks

Yea, I know I am taking the word disability and using it in a way that,  perhaps, most people don’t, but true to my reason for writing this blog, I am set on helping you become not just more aware of the stigmas that you may well be inadvertently placing on people with disabilities, but, in addition, I write to help you see such a community of individuals as people first and foremost.

The problems that a disabled attitude wreaks can easily spin out of control.  Consider the dilemma of Long Beach, California.  Their lax attitude  towards minor crimes runs the risk of more dangerous crimes happening.

Continue reading →

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Tony Nicklinson: Definition of Advocate

Posted on April 2, 2012 by Michael

SHAMELESSLY BOLD/ my perspective

 

Some folks like to rant to make their point, but in the process loose sight of their original intention.

Recently I have been following Tony Nicklinson, a man with locked-in syndrome who will be petitioning the courts to allow him to die. scales of justice During my research I came across an article that had a barrage of virtiolic comments.

Continue reading →

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Interview with Jens Rybo

Posted on March 28, 2012 by Michael

The link to the Interview is at the site radio4all.  Simply scroll to the bottom and click ‘download’.  Credit goes to my friend and boss, Frederick Moe, who edited the original interview.  (Disclaimer:  this is my first interview with less than the best equipment, so please focus more on the content!  Thanks)

 

Recently, I had the privilege to interview Jens Rybo, a mental health worker and musician, from Tunefoolery.

Jens Rybo

Jens Rybo

I posted about this awesome group a while ago here and here, and now I wanted to get more ‘behind the scenes’ about how it all started, this group of superb musicians who have a variety of disabilities.

Today, you will not only hear about this, but you will also be able to listen to some of their music

My desire is to highlight those people/groups that carry the message of hope and inspiration  into the disabled community by showing others that though stigmas will continue to knock people down by devaluing them and disable those who hold them, the disabled community will continue to show the world that they are talented and willing and able to succeed in life.  Something that we all want!

I do hope you will agree with me that theses men and women are, indeed, talented.

Let Jens and me know what you think.

Again, the link to hear the interview is here

 

Blessings,

 

Michael

 

 

 

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How to Improve Confidence

Posted on March 28, 2012 by Michael

Motivational short stories found where the disabled are helping others

 

 Dis-ability:  “not abled to do something”

Smooth Stones with the word BELIEVE on one. Believe is one way of how to improve confidenceToo often, we read/think/behave as though this definition reads ‘not abled to do anything’, but the truth is that within  the Disabled community there is a wealth of powerfully moving motivational short stories to counter such wrong thinking.

Sometimes, though, our logic gets in the way of what’s out there.  Consider, for instance when logic runs into a dead end.  Consider the BumbleBee.

By all rights, by scientific fact, that insect should NOT be able to fly.  Its body mass is just too great for its wings to bear.  But, the bumblebee flies.  Those bees either have never read the scientific literature on their anomaly, or they just don’t care about what other’s think they should NOT be able to do.

Trying to wrap our minds around this one can hurt, yet such entrenched thinking of not considering the reality of the situation disables one from appreciating the dynamics of what is happening.

And I want you to consider what is happening.  I want you to appreciate the value, the pleasure, the insights that those with disabilities can and do give to the world.  Your life can be enriched.

I have seen developmentally delayed individuals connect with individuals having dementia.  I have witnessed individuals with massive mental disorders be the first to express care to one of their own who just was not doing that well.  I have been privileged to be a part of those who have very limited social interaction skills rally around one who is in the hospital by sending out a get well card.  I have seen the elderly who are confined to home still smiling, still content, and still bringing joy to those who visit them.

So, how do you improve confidence?  One sure way is to challenge yourself.  Step out of your comfort zone and try something new.  Other have and so can you.  So, go ahead and read some motivational short stories, of the likes of Patrick Henry Hughs, or Coco, or Kelvin Maliwa, or Miss Wheelchair USA.

It should knock your socks off.

But don’t worry about that.  Just grab another pair to be wowed again.

You too can do it.  You were made for a purpose.  Find it.  Do it.  Confidence will follow.

 

Blessings

 

Michael

 

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A letter to Tony Nicklinson Who is Seeking to Die

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Michael

Should People have the Right to Die

Tony’s name has hit the search engines recently because of his advocating before the courts for his right to die.  He seems to be garnering support for his choice.  Should people have the right to die?  Here is my view posted as a letter:

Continue reading →

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Teaching Creatively

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Michael

 Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited and imagination can encircle the world.

Albert Einstein

 

I recently heard this quote when watching the movie, A Smile as Big as the Moon, a true story of a class of students with learning disabilities who go to space  camp.  It is a must see in my book, and I hope yours too.  Talk about encouragement!

All this goes to CONTINUE to show that people with disabilities can and do learn.  And do you know why?  Because they are people!  It really needs to be no mystery about this.  People with disabilities do learn…just like you and just like me.

This true movie wonderfully depicted that.  Yes, there were struggles along the way.  Yes, there were those who just did not think it possible for such individuals to actually learn enough to even think about getting to Space Camp.

But isn’t that also true for you and me?  Do people always think that we can learn something, or are there times when they might just shake their heads and give us a questioning glance?  Come on, be honest here.  But, hopefully, you just put your nose to the grindstone, and learned.  Yep, you showed them, but more importantly you showed yourself that no one was going to block you from achieving your goal.

Sometimes, learning comes by being very innovative, creative, like the above quote implies.

I remember going to school when the main method of learning was to sit at a desk all day, and listen to the teacher.  Contrast that with today:  there are study abroad opportunities, there are interdisplinary studies where you can write out your own syllabus, there are advanced courses for those so inclined.  There is volunteering too.  All are recognized as essential components to one’s learning.

Creative.

Because of this reality, I have a challenge for you.

Considering that people with disabilities do learn,  spend time with someone who has a disability and so something together.  Track how they learn, and help them on that path.  Too, allow yourself to be taught in this process.

Allow yourself to be taught.  Because learning is a two way street, you have the opportunity to be changed, to see things in a different way as you interact with another.

The teacher in this movie, Mike, thought outside of the box, as I am asking you to do.  His focus was NOT on his classes disabilities, but on the mission, the goal of Space Camp.  He improvised, he even allowed his students to help in the learning process.  He succeeded because his entire class succeeded.

Use your creativity in helping one with disabilities find his creativity.  Do something together, and let me know what happens.  I want to celebrate with you by telling your story.

 

 

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